I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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