Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
