Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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