once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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