If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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