i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
