Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
