She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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