i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize