He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
