I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Where is the hickey?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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