You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize