During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
home. puking in laundry basket.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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