did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
