We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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