for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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