Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
