Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
