I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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