i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
