That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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