just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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