My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
