I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
