Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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