I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Are we still banned from the library?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
