im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
