Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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