hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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