is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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