Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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