Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
