Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize