Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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