Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
