Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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