You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
