3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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