He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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