hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
