we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize