update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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