i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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