Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
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it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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