Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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