dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
