There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
