But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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