she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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