p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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