saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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