sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
