Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I woke up under a house in Key West
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