Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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