If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
