Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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