I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
