Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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